The Halloweener

Ghosts and goblins at the door
Ugly, bloody ghouls of gore
Wanting treats I have in store
Wanting more, and more, and more.

Little demons of the street
Pounding with their little feet
Waking me with "trick or treat"
Wanting anything that’s sweet.

From my knowledge I can tell
When they knock or ring the bell
It is bothersome as hell
That is why I cast this spell
"Half a ton of vulture’s eyes
Vomit from the throats of flies
Venom, acid, ugly ties
Then a cup of ghostly sighs

Add a shrieky rooster’s crow
And some water with a glow
Mix in warts from someone’s toe
To the caldron they all go"

Chanting to my grimy stew
Adding eyeballs two by two
Soon I have a magic brew
Sweeter than the junk kids chew

Every minute of the clock
Comes the usual knock, knock, knock
When I open up my lock
Kids receive a tasty shock

Trick or treat they have no pick
All their little treats I trick
When they swallow, chew, or lick
What they chose will make them sick

I am saving teeth this night
Keeping smiles clean and bright
‘Cause kids lose their appetite
As their faces all turn white

Sugar they shall now equate
With a painful belly-ache
And my treats will make them hate
Sweets they used to think were great

When this day comes back next year
Children won’t be coming near
Sweet-toothed monsters I won’t hear
No more torture to my ear

Police pounding with a stick
"Knock that door down really quick
Catch that lousy lunatic
Making all these children sick"

I explain that I’m obsessed
That I tried my very best
To achieve some needed rest
And their presence I protest

"I’ll be famous, you will see
They will even honor me
Each child’s parents will be free
From the costly dentist’s fee"

Wrestling me down right then
Took the strength of fifty men
Now I’m locked up in a pen
‘Til my time is done in ten

They say I deserve to rot
But I’m fine with what I’ve got
Life might not be very hot
But I have a peaceful cot